omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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