You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
