You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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