last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
