Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
