Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
