it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize