I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
