...so i touched it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
