And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
