Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
