I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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