The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
