you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
