He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize