i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
