This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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