She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
