For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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