do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
