I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
