I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
