I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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