Don't you send me to vm
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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