he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
