if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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