just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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