I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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