i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
