Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
