Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
