Porn is love you can see.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
