That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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