i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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