You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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