Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
