something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
