ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
