I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
