I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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