Don't you send me to vm
babies were throwing up all over the place
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
