Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
