I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize