That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
