legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
