look no pants
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
