It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
