Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
