I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
