i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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