So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize