Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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