How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am one with the molecules
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
