I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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