why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
