every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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