I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
