Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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